Somehow I feel exploited by the education system. If I look back at my school days I feel that considering the circumstances the school was literally fleecing me of my money. Despite the hefty fees charged I never got the benefits. Just how...
A daily chronicle of my school life.
Period 1: English
English…the language of Shakespeare & Keats. The plays and poems which create a romantic web around you. In this bliss and torrent of love, how can yours truly remain unaffected? And like any horny teenager I too fell in love with my English teacher. Her recital of the rendezvous of Romeo & Juliet would leave me dreamy eyed, my imaginations running wild. Ohh...the starry night, the mist in the garden, the naughtiness of the dawn….
The glazy eyes however dint escape the attention of the my object of lust…I mean love. A prompt checkup of my attention span and soon the class would be one person short. The missing person would be standing outside ruminating over the great knowledge he is missing.
Period 2: Physics
The means to becoming the next
Now don’t get me wrong. I loved the subject. But its hard not to laugh when your teacher is wearing sports shoes with a three-piece suit. And with the Bihari English our masterji had!! Exclamations such as “No problem is there” , “Open the windows, let the weather come inside” were doled out quite freely. Not hard to imagine the utter helplessness we experienced. As the mastermind of the ensuing chaos, I was soon sent outside the class, for as masterji put it “the more good of the class”.
Period 3: Biology
Ugggghhhhhhh……….I hate the subject. Bones, cockroaches, frogs. Gawd!! I would always feels nauseated in the biology lab.
Now the subject was taught by a frail old lady Mrs Ghosh..which unsurprisingly was changed to Mrs Ghost for our internal reference. The old lady always had an axe to grind against me…well….hmmm…ahem…she once saw me doing a “Goodmorning Mrs Ghosh” to the skeleton kept just outside the lab. Hmmm…I could consider myself pure unlucky.
Now Ghosty had a habit of starting the lesson by asking questions on what was taught in the previous session. And whoever failed to answer was promptly asked to leave the class. So five minutes into the lesson and I would be issued the eviction notice. Class after class, week after week...
Period 4: Maths
Now this was a subject I was good at. Dealing in numbers really egged me on. But given my short attention span and the plethora of opportunities for mischief and fun, the teacher could somehow never restrain himself from reading the riot act to me. So the “Outstanding” student keeps his slate clean.
Period 5: Chemistry
Damn. Despite my utmost efforts the balanced equations never balanced, the periodic table was periodically mixed up, acids gave me acidity and bases made me forget my basics…
Add to this my checkered record of “accidents” in the lab. Understandably the teacher developed a phobia of me. And the results were predictable. A trip to my designated spot…
Period 6: Computers
1+0=1,
1+1=1??
What confusion!! C, C++, Java...all conspired to bedazzle me. The classes, methods, objects were all mumbo jumbo for me. And when the hottest chick of your class sits next to you, its hard enough to concentrate. The eyeballs tend to rove about. And promptly you are sent on your way out.
Man!! School was fun.
Life is good,
Signing off,
Shubham
2 comments:
Horny teenager!!!!!
Bhai, this piece was sure funny and brought back such good memories of the golden days. Oh man, why did we ever grow up!!!
Btw did you go to a boys all school :)
@karthik: very true bhai..school days were a class apart...btw I was in a co-ed institution..
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