Shubham Bhai Professor!!

When an opportunity comes your way, grab it with both hands. That's exactly what I did last week...

You see for years I have been at the receiving end of the tyranny of professors. Year after year, lecture after lecture...they all drolled on...trying to stuff in more and more of the Pythogrus theorem, thermodynamics, balanced equations - which never seemed to balance for me... killing any semblance of life within me. All I ended up was with a numbed brain - from the mindboggling info, sore butts - from hours of of sitting on the back bench, sore ears - both from listening to the pointless drolling(atleast for me) and from being pulled hard because of ah...we can skip that part.

So you see that I had years of pent up emotions inside. A total of 18 precious years that this education system had taken away from me. So when the chance came to ventilate years of frustration I promised myself that I will make it count.

As part of my job I am supposed to conduct training session for new recruits. Since it was my first time(first time is always special ;)) I was determined to do justice to all my sufferings. All charged up and with a poise of a rhino braced for the kill, I entered the training room - trying to project myself as a no nonsense man. Reaching the front of the classroom I turned around and announced "Hello guys, I am Shubham and I will be your trainer today". Pausing to see the effect of my sudden entrance and the dramatic announcement I looked around.

Stunned faces and gawking eyes were visible throughout the room. People stared at me and whispered among themselves. This was totally unlike the grand impact I have envisaged. Agreed that I don't look like the academic type(cant help my good looks and the hip image) but still this is not what I expected from "my students". Man tell you this new generation have no values left in their system..this is no way to receive a faculty. The entire generation is rotten!!

Recovering quickly I blurted out "Er...I will be taking the training session today. We can probably begin with the introductions". That was the beginning the most hilarious round of introductions. Person after person introduced themselves as "Arun, Hyderabad Cognizant", "Priya, Kochi Cognizant", "Amit, Bangalore Cognizant". It crossed my mind to repeat to my pupil SRKs dialogue from the movie Chak De(for the uninitiated when the members of the girl's hockey team introduced themselves by their name and the states which they belong to, SRK boomed and stuttered "We..We ar..are representing In..India not the S..States"). SRK got away with claps and cheers but I dont think a similar remark would have been appreciated in the current environment. Satisfying myself with a sigh and eager to roll out my special preparation I let go of this moment.

And so it began. As presentations after presentations, slides and slides, gyaan after gyaan were dished out to the audience, I watched with sadistic pleasure the tell tale signs of the lecture having the desired impact. Heads began to droll and eyes began to have a dazed look about them. People kept changing they seating postures, I assume, or rather I am sure, to give relief to their by now sore butts. To make proceeding more enjoyable(only for myself) I began throwing questions, making sure that the target would be some poor guy whose eyelids were fluttering. The startled victim would blurt out some answer. But when a man is on a mission, nothing can stop him. Questions after questions until the resolve would finally break and the victim would hang his head in shame, or probably trying to avoid hurling abuse.

When I was finally finished pleading looks and near tearful eyes looked at me begging for mercy. But as they say a momentary outburst is not enough to alleviate the sufferings of a lifetime. Savoring the moment of triumph I gleefully thought of the next chance to ventilate my feelings. A thought crossed my mind - Bring them on.


As they say "Revenge is a dish best served cold"



Signing off for now
Shubham