Open Letter to Hayden & Symonds

Dear Hayden & Symonds,

First of all loads of thanks from all of us in India.

Surprised!!

I bet so. After all thats been happening on the Indian cricket team's tour to Australia you would have least expected adulation from an ardent fan of the Indian team. But your highness, I wish to offer you gratitude from the depths of my heart . For over the past few days you have been going out of your way to make the game of cricket more interesting for us fans. Albeit your methods have been crude(typical Aussie-like), but the effect has been effective to say the least.

Haydenji your contribution to the cause of cricket will be well and truly remembered for a long time to come. Your boxing invitation to the kiddo Ishant has opened up possibilities which were way beyond mediocre people like us. Who else could have thought of such a money spinner idea as this? Imagine Sachin vs Ponting slogging it out in the ring while it is broadcast to the world. We can even ask your man Bucknor to referee so that the fight can be more even. Though who would pay for the new dentures for Ponti is a thing that needs to be worked out. Sirji we are a poor country who can ill afford this expense.

Back to the kiddo Ishant. He has no right to damage the great Aussie reputation by knocking out half the Aussie team in no time. The boy has to be put in place. But sirji just be careful of the Indian deception. For it may happen that you are all geared up in the ring but lo and behold, instead of Ishant the surd Bhajji may jump into the ring. Sirji then you are a goner. For that surd is a real nutcracker(hopefully he will not touch your esteemed ones..or rather two). And I have heard that he is really mad at you for that ah...rather cute "obnoxious weed" comment. As a true well wisher of yours I would earnestly advice you to rather avoid the nasty situation.

Symonds sirji..please do not even think that I have forgotten you. You have been unfairly at the receiving end of lots of criticism. Please forgive all this as acts of ignorants. So what if you say a few kind words to Bhajji and Ishant. Those two crooks have no business to respond in kind. After all you are an Aussie.

And my lord as a measure of your kindheartedness please also forgive the inadvertent reference to your ancestors. Symonds paaji we Indians are totally against racial abuse. We are very religious people and worship monkeys. So how can you even think that we would degrade a thing which we worship by comparisons to you. Paaji for your reference we will shortly be sending you a list of all abuses which we can think up for you(signed by all Indian fans). So the next time you would be able to clearly understand that the abuses are directed to your current family and not to your ancestors.



Hope this letter alleviates the concerns of both of you,

An Indian Fan